Beginnings

Pregnant. So it’s clear, because everyone tells you, that my life will never be the same.

I mean that is generally true, right? Your life is always moving forward. Accelerating it feels like. A river rushing from mountaintops to the sea.

But there are certain moments that feel like rapids you’ll never retrace. We’ve all had moments when we knew if we needed to lick our wounds repeat the third grade, or move back into the basement.

And then there are the moments that make it clear you cannot turn around to create even the simulacrum of your life. You cannot paddle up Niagara Falls. It’s a one way street. When my Mom died. When my kid is born.

So there's this… unbelievably gigantic cataract in the river. When we decided to get pregnant you expect to go over those falls, but you can’t tell when you’ve gone over. It all happens hidden away.

Until one day she pees on a stick and you look back and there is the wall of water behind you and in front of you is the great unknown.

Who will this child be? What will my life be like? What will be important to me? Who will my friends be? What will I eat? How will I connect to the world around me and how will I connect my child to the life of this world.

Will I be a good father? Will my child have solid roots? How do we connect to one another authentically?

That is the inquiry we’re making on The Root System. You can always connect to us at Ben@therootsystem.net.